Letter from Inside: Roy Tester
Letter from Inside: Roy Tester
Kelly Lee is a Zen Buddhist practitioner who works to integrate Zen principles into her daily routine. Through Zen, she has learned to be more mindful in everyday life, to be kinder to both herself and others, and to not get so caught up in external distractions. She has agreed to communicate with John Bruno and Roy Tester to learn from them and to provide them encouragement on their path of Buddhist practices.
Roy Tester is a prisoner in the well-known Tucker Maximum Security Prison in Arkansas. Roy has spent much of his adult life in prison and is now serving a life sentence without parole for capital crimes. Doug Carnine, Founder and Board Chair of the Choosing Kindness Foundation/Kindr Foundation, has been exchanging letters with him since 2009. Roy was also a co-author of Dr. Carnine's book, "St. Badass: Personal Transcendence in Tucker Max Hell."
*Note: Letters are typed up exactly as written by Roy Tester and Kelly Lee.
Received from Kelly 3-26-25
Roy Tester and Kelly Lee Discuss the Ripples of Compassion: Navigating Patience, Understanding, and Interbeing
14 MAR 25
Roy Tester
Anyway, here be the "Dharma bit" for Doug-n-Miss Linda and Miss Kelly. "With the Insight and Wisdom of Interbeing, we can put an end to discrimination, prejudice and intolerance, which will allow a Collective Wisdom with others and not only bring about openness, tolerance, understanding and a clearer view of a Realization of the Way, and also ensure our evolvement as a species." Well, there it be.
Kelly:
With all the turmoil in the world right now, I sometimes struggle to remain tolerant and nonjudgmental. It can be discouraging to witness so much suffering, especially when I am not the one experiencing it firsthand. I find myself asking: Am I doing enough? How can I go about my daily life when so many endure unimaginable hardships?
I don’t know how to change the world, but I do know that working on myself and contributing positively within my own community can create ripples. Perhaps, in strengthening my own awareness and actions, I can help weave a stronger web of Interbeing—one that fosters understanding, compassion, and collective growth.
5 MAR 25
Roy Tester
"Body, Speech and Mind in perfect oneness, I send Merit with my Heart along when I hear someone yelling. May the one yelling awaken from the forgetfulness of common courtesy and break loose from the chain of ignorance and Transcend the path of fear and anxiety." Well, there it be and one thing for those people who have never been incarcerated, it will be harder to understand the "Yelling and screaming" issue than for those of us who "have been there".
Kelly:
Hearing about all the yelling and screaming, I can only imagine the pain they must be carrying—whether it manifests as anger, anguish, or deep sorrow. My hope, too, is that they may find a way to ease the suffering within their hearts. This is no easy task. It can be difficult to truly place ourselves in another’s shoes, to fully grasp the depth of their emotions. But in offering merit, you are extending a great gift—a silent act of compassion that reaches beyond words, holding space for their healing and transformation.
2 MAR 25
Roy Tester
"Just as Atisha regarded his irritating, incompetent and " generally unpleasant" servant as his "Greatest Teacher", one should access/adopt this same perception when dealing with a Toxic person, be they a " difficult family member, friend or unknown individual, seeing them as an opportunity to practice the Koolness of the Mindfulness, Kindfulness, Patience and Understanding of the Dharma". Well, there it be and feedback sought and welcomed!
Kelly:
It seems Atisha recognized his servant not as a burden but as an opportunity to cultivate patience and compassion within his own practice. This, in itself, was an act of great kindness—after all, he could have easily dismissed the servant and chosen someone more agreeable.
I know that when I encounter difficult people, my instinct is often to “push away”. This becomes especially challenging when the person is a coworker, family member, or someone whose presence is a constant in my life. Patience, in particular, can feel like the hardest virtue to embody, especially in this day and age. There was a time when my brother and I weren’t speaking, and the strain of our disconnect rippled outward.
Over time, I’ve tried to move away from labeling people as “toxic.” Instead, I ask myself: How can I approach them with compassion? What past experiences, karmic imprints, or perspectives shape their actions? With my brother, I leaned into mindfulness, patience, and understanding. We still don’t always see eye to eye, but I’ve come to accept and appreciate him for who he is. In doing so, I’ve found greater peace within myself.
Roy Tester and Kelly Lee Discuss Mindful Thinking, Letting Go, and the Practice of Acceptance
13 JANUARY 2025
Roy Tester:
"Learning to let go as we go."
Kelly:
While trying to change the direction of my thinking, I realized that I was skipping the step of acceptance, and once I started to be more consciously aware of that, I started to notice the direction of my thinking change in a more natural way rather than feeling forced. The forced shift always felt uncomfortable and inauthentic. Also, the phrase 'learning to let go as we go' resonates with me, but sometimes I think that letting go can be, as we talk about, pushing away if we haven't learned to accept what originally is coming up for us whether it be thoughts, emotions, perspectives, etc.
13 JANUARY 2025
Roy Tester:
"We must use every experience as our practice, opening up to each experience to see what is happening..."
Kelly:
I really appreciate this line because it serves as a valuable reminder to remain open to situations from multiple perspectives and to integrate this practice into all aspects of our lives. Taking in each experience with openness strengthens our ability to offer compassion towards ourselves and others.
08 JANUARY 2025
Roy Tester:
"No matter what kind of situation you may find yourself in, no matter how difficult or insurmountable the issue/situation may seem, you always have the power to change the direction of your thinking, the way you are perceiving/interpreting the moment by reaching for the awesome EMPOWERMENT of the Dharma which will most definitely help any situation you may encounter in life."
